We have all had days when we are angry at our partner/ offspring/ sibling/ neighbour/ friend/ boss/ the other driver etc. And in those moments we paste a load of personality traits on them:
“She never listens”
“He is hopeless around the house”
“They are completely inconsiderate”
“He never gives any praise for good work”
“She looked stupid and probably wasn’t paying attention”
…. you get the picture.
Your clients will turn up for sessions having a rant like this from time to time. Parents, offspring and partners bear the brunt!
If at all possible, AVOID using EFT on the other person’s behaviours. Guide your client to THEIR OWN EMOTIONS (after all, why should they invest their own therapy time in someone else?) and, of course, WHERE THEY FEEL THOSE EMOTIONS.
Firstly, we would like our clients to have emotional freedom from these things that bother them. So focus on the emotions.
For example: “Even though when John does that, I feel really frustrated …. etc”
Secondly, if you lead an EFT session using words like “John is such an idiot” (even when they are the client’s words), they may turn round and say “Don’t speak like that about John. He’s my husband!”
We know how quickly EFT works and people can easily forget what they said, so you may become the bad guy!
On the same note, guide clients away from “She makes me feel angry”, towards “When she does that, I feel angry”. It may feel like it sometimes, but the reality is that no one MAKES us feel anything. They just trigger that reaction in us.
